"He nodded but still didn't look happy. I'm sure it was more the bullshit of the TV show, than the Atwoods. I went to the bedroom to pass out. I was that tired. I had been stumbling around for the last twenty minutes. I can watch the video the next morning, I thought.I still wouldn't let Gwen leave the house alone, so I rode with her to get breakfast for everyone. We even took the cop's order. In order to get anything worth eating as takeout, we had to drive back to the highway interchange. Since I was the one who wanted biscuits, I should be the one to go. If I went, I had to take along a shadow. If I had to take along a shadow, I chose Gwen. I still didn't care for her, but it gave the guys a break from her. At least she was a woman. Not that I don't like men just as well, but her questions just sounded a little less abrasive, than Mike's.After breakfast we decided that we should make noises like a group of religious zealots, since that was our cover story. Mike printed up some. When Mother Superior had been forced to take notice of one of these situations, and get involved herself, there had always been a time when I'd find myself standing in front of her desk, with her going into a big, long explanation, which she claimed was for my benefit, letting me know that, while I was wrong, they simply didn't have the heart to continue punishing me any further. Instead of further punishment, she always told me, the sisters were all praying for me, and hoping that God or Jesus would change my behavior for them.After Uncle Bunny told me what Mama had said, I started crying again, partly in relief, and partly in sorrow that I had caused all of this to take place. It was a good thing that Mama gave in, because I had already learned that those walls I'd built up, somehow weren't working. They only worked when you didn't actually love people, or when those people didn't love you back. It was something I had used at the orphanage, to pretend to be stronger than I was. I.
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